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Suffer Summer

by chastity

/
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    edition of 300  33 remaining
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

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    Purchasable with gift card

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1.
Real World 03:47
Running Face First Into Hell on Earth I’ve Tried Pills, I’ve Tried Church I Think I’d Rather Suffer I Always Feel Worse Before I Feel Better Oh I Crash and I Burn I Try to Run for Cover Caught in the Teeth of the Real World One by One We All Get Mauled Damn It All, Damn It All Running Face First Into Hell on Earth Taking Turns Getting Burned I Line Right Up to Get Hurt I’m Really Not Sure Trying to Cure My Self Worth Is Worth All the Trouble of Being Vulnerable Caught in the Teeth of the Real World One by One We All Get Mauled Damn It All, Damn It All I Can’t Cope, I Haven’t Died but I’ve Come Close I Tried to Breath but I Just Choked I Felt Your Hands Around My Throat Oh I Tried to Go Outside I’m Not Shy, I’m Horrified of the Taste of the Decay, It Follows Me Til I Fall and I’ll Fight to Come Untied From This Life, I’m Undermined, Oh It Hits Me Like a Wall Damn It All, Damn It All I Can’t Cope, I Haven’t Died but I’ve Come Close I Tried to Breath but I Just Choked, I Felt Your Hands Around My Throat No I Can’t Cope! Haven’t Died but I Got Close! I Tried to Breath but I Just Choked, I Felt Your Hands Around My Throat
2.
Life’s a Brutal Shame, I’m Up to My Eyes in My Usual Misery Same Thing Every Day, I Run From Feeling Fucked Til It’s Jumping Me Throw Me Around Again Pummeling, Pummeling My Spirit’s Caving in Pummeling, Pummeling as the Fire Surrounds Me, I Try to Find Ways to Make the Burning Feel Happy We Don’t Feel the Same Way, if You’re Really Telling Me Everything Will Be Ok Throw Me Around Again Pummeling, Pummeling My Spirit’s Caving in Pummeling, Pummeling Throw Me Around Again Pummeling, Pummeling My Spirit’s Caving in Pummeling, Pummeling Throw Me Around Again Pummeling, Pummeling My Spirit’s Bloodying Pummeling, Pummeling Pummeling, Pummeling
3.
Existing Is Exhausting Already, but Now It’s Killing, Without You Here With Me I Need You Here, I Need You Here I’m Waiting for Something, I Don’t Know What It Is but I’m Trying Out Patience, in Case It’s Happiness There’s No Peace in My Heart, It’s All Cold, Numb and Dark Another Sick Person Just Trying to Get Well You, Me, Everyone I Know Been Dying to Live Again Are You Around? I Don’t Know Where I Went Been Dying to Live Again Are You Around? Haven’t Been the Same Since Another Sick Person Just Trying to Get Well You, Me, Everyone I Know Everything’s Different and It’s Changing Too Fast, I Don’t Know What Happened but I Can’t Change It Back I Need You Here, I Need You Here Another Sick Person Just Trying to Get Well You, Me, Everyone I Know Been Dying to Live Again, Are You Around? I Don’t Know Where I Went Been Dying to Live Again, Are You Around? I Haven’t Been the Same Since Another Sick Person Just Trying to Get Well You, Me, Everyone I Know
4.
My Head Spins in Circles, My Body’s Frozen Still When You Go Home I Withdrawal My Head Spins in Circles, My Body’s Frozen Still When You Go Home I Withdrawal I Nodded Of, Sinking Into the Bed, I Almost Asked, Will You Stay Here Again? Maybe I Could’ve Been Happy Then Kept the Door Unlocked So You Could Get Right Back In, I Should’ve Guessed, That That Would Never Happened I Just Want You So Bad a Spare Room for Some Friends Who Will Never Make It in the End, I Hear Them in My Head but I Know I’m Here Without Them My Head Spins in Circles, My Body’s Frozen Still When You Go Home I Withdrawal I Am Sick, for Your Attention, Losing My Will to Live When You Go Home I Withdrawal You’re the Ghost That Runs the Halls of My Mind, I’d Die for One More Minute With You Tonight My Head Spins in Circles, My Body’s Frozen Still When You Go Home I Withdrawal I Am Sick, for Your Attention, Losing My Will to Live When You Go Home I Withdrawal When You Say There’s Tomorrow, You Taunt Me With Heaven When You Go Home I Withdrawal I Am Sick, I Am Sick! Losing My Will to Live When You Go Home I Withdrawal
5.
There’s a Barbed Wire Fence Around Happiness, and I’ve Been Making a Plan to Hop It I Want It, I Want in All That’s Missing Is Some Courage Think I Could Take the Rips in My Skin I Want It, I Want in Breaking in Endorphin Prison Been Looking for What’s Missing Held in the Fringes of Happiness Some Place Far From Here, a Pool at Night to Disappear I Want It, I Want in Use a Needle, Pierce Our Ears, I Want a Life That’s Less Severe Breaking in Endorphin Prison Been Looking Something’s Missing Held in the Fringes of Happiness Somersault You Smashed a Pumpkin Off a Cop Car Window, They Came After Us, We Split Up Where Did You Go? I Stay Awake Cuz It’s Safe I Can’t Sleep It’s Doomsday
6.
Somersault 03:13
I Spiral Out of Control Somersault Lately I’ve Been Feeling Nothing at All I Want More Than This Cruel World Hell Hole Watching War on My Phone Like Some Sick World War Porn, I’ve Picked My Side, but I’m Horrified the Bad Ones Already Won Somersault I Spiral Out of Control Somersault Lately I’ve Been Feeling Nothing at All I Want More Than This Cruel World Hell Hole I Can’t Wait to Disassociate I Can’t Wait Face First in the Lake Take Me Away Take Me Away Somersault I Spiral Out of Control Somersault Lately I’ve Been Feeling Nothing at All I Want More Than This Cruel World Hell Hole Somersault I Spiral Out of Control Somersault Lately I’ve Been Feeling Nothing at All I Want More Than This Cruel World Hell Hole
7.
Happy Face 04:02
Dopamine Is Hidden in a Lot of Deathly Places, I Hate It You’re the Part of Me That’s Missing, and I Will Always Chase It I Hate It’s Toxic to Be So Positive Who Put Fentanyl in My Friends Batch? He Wanted to Feel Happiness Was That Too Much to Ask? I Was Making a Happy Face but It Took All My Strength Away I Was Making a Happy Face but It Took All My Strength Away You and I Were Alive at the Same Time I’m Lucky for It You Showed Me the Misfits and We Sang Out Last Caress I’m Lucky for It I’ll Miss You I Hope Heaven’s Real Who Put Fentanyl in My Friends Batch? He Wanted to Feel Happiness Was That Too Much to Ask? I Was Making a Happy Face but It Took All My Strength Away I Was Making a Happy Face but It Took All My Strength Away
8.
My Body Still Shakes From the Day They Took You Away, I Felt the Shockwaves From the Ground Being Pulled Beneath Me Holding on for Dear Life, Acting Like Mine Is Dear Tonight Hit My Endorphins Like a Ton of Bricks I Am Over Over Stimulated I Feel Myself Fade, I Am Spent I Am Just Smiling My Days Erase, Someone’s Stomping on the Floor in My Head Holding on for Dear Life, Acting Like Mine Is Dear Tonight Hit My Endorphins Like a Ton of Bricks I Am Over Over Stimulated Small Fires in My Mind, All Spread at the Same Time Small Fires in My Mind, All Spread at the Same Time Hit My Endorphins Like a Ton of Bricks I Am Over Over Stimulated
9.
Following the Black Cloud That Follows Me, You Can’t Rain on My Parade I’m Already Sinking I Fixate on My Agony, My Mood’s a Swing Set and It's Sent Me Spinning I Try to Take a Breath, Got the World’s Hands Wrapped Around My Neck Asphyxiating All I Know Is This Vicious Circle for Better or Worse I Heal Then I Hurt and I Can’t Let Go All I Know Is This Tornado It Storms Through My Soul, It Tears Through It All It Won’t Let Me Go Borrowing an Old Feeling to Cover the Pain, Can’t Keep Memories of Only the Good Things Mistakes to Keep Me Awake Sweet Amnesia, I Need You Again I Try to Take a Breath Got the World’s Hands Wrapped Around My Neck Excruciating All I Know Is This Vicious Circle for Better or Worse I Heal Then I Hurt and I Can’t Let Go All I Know Is This Tornado It Storms Through My Soul, It Tears Through It All It Won’t Let Me Go What’s It Gonna Take to Make All This Pain Go Away? It’s Dizzying I Feel It When I Fall I Feel Everything or I Feel Nothing at All I Know Is This Vicious Circle for Better or Worse I Heal Then I Hurt and I Can’t Let Go All I Know Is This Tornado It Storms Through My Soul, It Tears Through It All It Won’t Let Me Go
10.
Smiling 03:45
I Still Wear Those Same Clothes From 2012 Every Day, You Know When Somebody Gives Up on You the Pain Doesn’t Go Away, and It Tore Me Right Through I Got a Lot of Misery to Keep Between My Teeth Oh Open My Skull, Please Let Me Know When Heaven’s Installed Oh Open My Soul, Scared of Tomorrow I Can’t Feel Miserable Anymore Happiness Came Along, Every Once in a While but Not for Long, Happiness, Oh Happiness, I Need You Now Where Have You Gone? Oh Open My Skull, Please Let Me Know When Heaven’s Installed Oh Open My Soul, Afraid of Tomorrow Can’t Feel Miserable Anymore

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released January 13, 2022

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chastity Whitby, Ontario

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